Sorry to hear it Strongr. We don't always have answers for you but we're hurting with you brother.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
I appreciate the encouragement. Gosh all I know is that my wife and I can make this work, but she is being guided and I can't help it so I don't even bother.
I know if she tried to open up she will give this another chance. I just can't break those walls down even with DB (although I have been slipping many times).
I don't want love another woman, I want my family to be whole again. I just ask God to do his Will and that it includes my petitions for my family unit to be restored and we are all happy again.
Sometimes I just want a hug to know everything will be ok.
Hey Strongr. This was ultimately the conclusion that I had to come to with my wife. That she was being guided by an outside source and she was unwilling to make it work, even though it was very possible to do so. I did not and still do not want to love someone else. God will do His will, although sometimes He allows things to happen outside of His will for reasons unknown, but always for His Glory and our good. If you know Him and you walk with Him, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU brother.
Much love and a big hug from me. Praying for you right now.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
You mentioned that your wife is being guided and you can't help it so you don't even bother. Does that mean that you are focusing all of your time, effort and energy on what you DO have control over..YOU!!!
Become the best Strongr you can be by making changes in your life/behavior that are good for you and your kids. The DB principles are for YOU!
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Thanks Cristy and rdken. The support is appreciated, it really is.
Had it rough yesterday and today. I am flourishing at work somehow, but dying inside. I miss my family and slipped again by telling my wife so. Her response was "I'm sorry". I was like blank, what the blank did I just do by showing weakness?
Anyway, the Season is changing and the surroundings and activities outside just keep on occurring. I feel like I'm in a bubble looking out into the world and just existing and nobody cares about me.
I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm mad, I'm lost!!!
What the hell have I done? Why is wife not even trying to get back together? Why is this happening? What should I do?
Strongr - I know you're going through a rough time. Do something for yourself. Take a walk. Rent a movie. Something - anything - just do something completely for yourself.
I know how much it hurts. My husband is being "guided" by another woman! I'm just focusing on myself. What I can change. What I want to be. How I can get there. If I focused on him, I would lose my mind.
I know this is harder than anything...I'm right there with you. But it really does help if you start to look at this whole situation as a time to work on yourself. Be nice to yourself.
I understand that I need to focus on myself, but separating myself is difficult because my life was my family...wife and boys. I just cannot fathom how someone could leave or break a family up.
When wife and I were living together money, me working a lot on weekends, and always drinking when watching ball games. I asked her what the issues were and she said get a stable Job (my business of 10 years was struggling, got it. Now two Jobs. She said stop drinking, done haven't drank since June 29, 2015. Respect her, I thought I did, but I am working on it, but I get frustrated b/c she has started making things up and talking like a book or advice absorbed robot.
In terms of "What can I change"? What do you mean?
I am working on what I want to be and how to get there, but my kids are everything to me. My wife really gets to me now and I sadly told her she made me sick! I asked to talk to her and she started jabbing me about my issues and what she thinks my problems are. I was having a bad couple of days and told her I missed my boys. She literally told a mutual friend that her other friends and guiders to her to make me hurt and make me feel the pain.
God, I just want to be fair and do what is right for my boys, even moving on but it's been almost two months now.
I will continue to work at this to become a better Strongr 2.0!
Strongr, what can you change? Not your W. You can only change you; your mind, your attitude, your goals.
Once you really grasp detachment, this will make more sense for you. Your marriage is over, she is moving on. What are YOU going to do to make the situation better? What will you do to spend as much time possible with your kids? What will you do to be the best you can be?
One day, she may come back. Maybe she won't. Work towards getting to a place so that you're fine with it either way. Women don't like what appears weak. Be strong. Be kind. Be calm.
Get rid of the word "try". It gives you an excuse to fail. You have the power within to do what you need. Grasp it. It's like a muscle, you have to work it to make it stronger.
One day at a time, my friend. Vent in here, portray a strong secure man out there. Read DR or DB again, and practice new actions. Focus on results, notice what doesn't work and stop doing it.
Good morning. Hope your doing ok. I am going to start being aware of her direction on moving on without me. It is as every other week she finds or makes up something crazy that never happened.
I am struggling with either moving closer to where my kids live which is about an hour and half away, but that will put me farther away from work even more.
I saw my boys yesterday and they were upset that I had to leave after their game b/c it was their mothers weekend. It kills me that she can seem so unplugged at their hurt and cries. She is being told that is normal and I told her she is being brain washed. I know that I did and do my best and that she somehow figures life is supposed to be perfect. Well, she's done with me and moved into her mothers and her mother has essentially taken over my roll. It really pisses me off! Her mother is a man hater and is really deranged.I am not just saying this she fights and is needy and now my wife and her can commiserate together.
Anyway, I'm on my way up there again to see my kids play ball.
I really want to see the good in wife, but at this point I am disgusted with her. How could she ruin a family? God right now she makes me sick!!!
Stronger you sound very much like me and your witch sounds extremely like mine
Your w has moved mine has not yet my fears are yours
Somehow we have to accept that the M Is over she is gone I feel this with my w I do not what to accept it but somehow I will have to
There is no magice wand
Vapo spelt IT out to me on one of my threads
Would she let you kiss her ....hell no Would She kiss you. Hell no Would she flinch if you tried to hug her ....I bet �100 that she would These we words that vapo said to me and they hurt but it is true
Will things change I would love them to but have to accept that for now my m is over
I would love to be a success story I would love for you to as well
Be strong we will find a way through this
Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
