I actually like going to church. That is a newer thing for me, since I have been praying constantly, and a priest is my counselor. So, I want to go for me. I want to raise the kids in a church too, I believe it is important. I don't want her to feel as if we can be "friends" and not be M. I have went to church a few times when she had the boys and they didn't go. I understand. But theres a difference between "going to church" and "going to her church". I dont know where you are, but Im assuming theres many churches in your area. So, wh go to "her" church - the way you described it was that it isnt really "your" church.
When she talks to me at the game, it always starts out about the kids... then changes to whatever topic she wants. do you know other parents? can you be more involved with them and not with her?
I want her to see and feel what divorce will be like whenever I have given up. Then maybe she will change her mind before I really do give up, and R has no chance. In my opinion, theres no point in thinking of this in absolute terms like that. Unfortunately, while we use metaphors around here like "closing a door", it really isnt that simple. You cant just decide "I dont want to be married anymore"...I think it's more that you exist for a while, and then look around and discover that. I would focus on your own detachment rather than trying to prove things or show things to her. Your own detachment and GAL activity will show her more than anything you can "plant".
