Thanks WhyUs and roiste. I really appreciate your comments. I think for the time being I just want to do my bit to keep things calm and relaxed.
Yesterday Dh initiated a conversation about me. He told me he was really really really anxious about the house sale, and our upcoming move. I just validated like mad and asked him if there was anything he needed. He asked me out for lunch - I kept it light and friendly - and then later on that night he came and slept in bed with me. First time in forever. I kept it very light and didn't do any pursuing at all.
From some of the things he said, it seems to me like he feels really burdened with practical responsibility in our household, and also taking care of my mental health. He was basically my carer for a long time - I don't need that any more - but I think for him, the choice feels like either looking after me as if I'm an invalid, or avoiding me altogether.
I think I need to update my goals to concentrate on modelling the kinds of behaviours that reassure him I am capable and healthy and want to interact with him, but don't need to be looked after.
I need to give this more thought. But I am feeling more hopeful. Just don't want to get carried away either.
SJ - Im not sure if youre doing this, but it has been suggested to me to keep a positivity journal of things that my W does or does not do so that we can notice them. Otherwise, we might miss some of the signposts. These seem like positive steps and I think you should note that they occurred to remind yourself in the future.
