Thank you ILYNOT, I am following your journey close, and know that you will come out an even better person than you already are. Read my quote for today, as it is what we are all going through....
Good morning Family,
Today as with everyday I woke up missing my wife, my family, and my home (our togetherness, our experiences, our love). Due to my MIL's unfortunate health, I make sure to call my wife every morning to make sure how she is doing. I sometimes can't help it wonder if the reason she doesn't call me to talk to me about what she is feeling or dealing with is because she has found herself another confidant. I hope not, and of course I get the urge to ask, but I fight the urge as it would be unfair and it is completely baseless at the moment. Yet, the thought hurts, and the reality that she is speaking to other people everyday, sometimes all day, but doesn't even call me except for maybe once in a day, hurts. Where does it all go, 10 years, closeness, spending everyday together, where does it all go? This I ask myself, but of course, is a cheese less tunnel, so I focus on the only thing I can focus on....myself.
Here is some of my PMA for today:
Quote of the Day:
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” Haruki Murakami
The 4 Agreements -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Working through it all, everyday it gets easier but it still hurts, I still don't feel whole, but what else is there. I won't bow down to this, I will overcome this, God has a bigger plan for me. I will support my wife's choice, because this is her journey but not at the cost of my life and my childrens. Love, love from a distance, have compassion, be understanding, grow from this.
Much love, and God Bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
