Back on these forums again

[Mona52]

For almost 4 weeks I promised myself I would not post on these forums again, because this time, I ended my M.

I was a DB success story. I was here over 10 years ago, and it took me almost three years, but I stayed true to these techniques and restored my M. My H had moved to a different state, and him and OW had a child together. While I sat home, alone, with the 3 small children we had together and went through the most painful experience of my life. I only made it to the other side by the help of the people here.

I started here with the sole purpose of getting my H back. Period. GAL sounded great and all, and I was sure other people benefited from it, but I cant lie, I ONLY did it to restore my M.

A funny thing happened along the way. My GAL activities became habit and to this day I wake up every day and do all in my power to work on me. That is part of my problem...

Almost 4 weeks ago, I told my husband to leave, or I was going to leave him with the kids. He packed up and left. I did not even ask him where he was going.

He had become so secure in the fact that I had proven I would love him forever, no matter what. And it used to be so true. But as I have worked my tush off to make my life better, he did less and less and less to contribute to the family. He had an EA a few years ago, online, and again I forgave and we worked through it.

When he left 4 weeks ago I was again thrown back into the indescribable pain I wallowed in years ago. Like a moth to the flame, I came back here. It helped me so much last time. I have been lurking, but not posting because I really dont know if I want to try again. But I really am feeling too much pain and anger to just lurk anymore, so I decided to post.

I will, of course, start off with the three goals MWD suggests we work towards and go from there.

As of right now, I really dont have any goals for H to do anything for or with me, but I would really love for him to reach out to his children. So...
Goal #1. H calls or texts his children at least once every few days.
Goal #2. H helps me by driving at least ONE kid to some activity at least once a week.
Goal #3. I dont really have a third goal atm, I just would like to work on those 2.

As for my personal goals, the list is too long to have here in my first post