Journaling a bit, Got off work today and XF called. Just to see what time S4 swap could be done. She was very pleasant and it felt good. I didn't drag convo out but wanted to... Swap went well, nothing out of the ordinary.
I got my copy of custody papers in the mail today, I'm assuming she didn't because she wasn't angry and didn't mention anything about it.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Pleasant is just how things are between healthy co-parent relations. Don't read too much into it. It is what it is, but doesn't have any significance in itself. My W & I can have very pleasant conversations, including when she brings up setting our next negotiation toward D meeting. So, read nothing into it.
That said, see how far you two have come since your first posts? Remember when handoffs were so much more difficult? I'm not saying that you will end up in marital bliss, but that's a lot of progress. It is good, no matter the legal status of things. It is good for your S. It is good for the next decade & a half when you could very likely be having to please S & get along w/ each other. Could it lead to salvaging a romantic, committed R? Who knows? If it's making things better, that's good.
It's not about getting her to give you what you want. Really, it isn't. It is about learning to get along with each other. If she then takes care of her issues while you are rebuilding that foundation, then good times. But notice that you have control only over the rebuilding that foundation. She is going to need to take care of her end, and there is no guarantee that she will. Baby steps. See how far you have come. That is good DBing, even if it doesn't result in a M or renewed M.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Not looking into it, just saying it was nice for once. To get a phone call and have a decent conversation without her being "tired", "in a bad mood", or just plain nasty. I have steered this type of conversation to text messages for the most part. Because of how the calls used to go. Even in the texts, I could usually feel the coldness and hostility. Just snippy replies no matter how nice and cordial I try to be...
Baby steps!
Last edited by Uphill; 09/17/1501:55 AM.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Asitis, I also want to thank you for your little eye opener! I went back to the beginning of my sitch and read some of my posts... As much as it feels like I've gotten NOWHERE in this circus, after looking back I really have! I guess it's like sitting on the porch waiting for the grass to grow. If you stare at it all day you see nothing. Leave for a week and come back, the change is drastic.
I really needed that little boost buddy!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I guess it's like sitting on the porch waiting for the grass to grow. If you stare at it all day you see nothing. Leave for a week and come back, the change is drastic.
Hey! Ive heard this before!
Anyway, I agree. Remember back in all of those old threads how you could barely get out of bed? Look where you are now.
Haha it may have been you who introduced me to it Azzork! Next time I will put your copyright stamp on it!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
So today my mind is all messed up and all over the place. I had a dream last night about XF and another man having his way with her... I can't get those images out of my head. I'm ok, it's just bothersome. Was that dream telling me something? I know if me and her don't R it gonna happen.(if it already hasn't) She is a very attractive girl. 5' 4", 105 pounds... There are men out there that would kill for a night with her! Oh well, moving ahead with my day and trying to let these thoughts behind
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
S4 woke up this morning, ripping and ready to go! Haha he has the house half tore apart and I don't even care! He's having fun, that's all that matters...
I soon take him to XF for the swap. I have a jam packed weekend of GAL planned! Doing something kinda new to me today. An off road "baja through the woods" type race. I have built some of these machines in the past for friends, but never driven or rode with in one actually racing... After that home for a shower and back up to the track. From what I hear it's an all night party with thousands of people. Defiantly taking my tent because a DUI wouldn't be a good thing!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Finished the race alive and well, machine held up very well also! Just by completing all laps you already beat 3/4 of the entries! Not sure exactly where we finished, kinda a primitive scoring system so it takes a few hours for them to figure out all the times by hand...
Sore is the word of the day haha. I think a hot shower, a pizza and then back to the track for some frosty adult beverages is in my near future.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
