Hopefull in NYC

[eclipse]

Thanks for the feedback Painter, hopeOK, Missmeg. I've been busy so haven't had much chance to compose my thoughts.

So W and I have been going out, mostly with D, and having an overall good time. Sometimes I saw her smile, hints of genuine happiness perhaps. D started her ice skating lessons, and W was so enamored from watching she asked if I could teach her too sometime (totally out of character since she's terribly afraid of most physical activity). We were even talking about taking another small trip somewhere since she has a few consecutive days off coming up and the last one was quite fun. But today it all went to hell.

I noticed that she's been communicating less, doesn't bring up MC anymore. I've been shopping around trying to find the best one in the area, but all I've gotten from the W was money concerns and hesitation. Come to think of it, money has been on her mind a lot lately and she's constantly worried about me losing my job. Well anyway, as a result of constantly taking sh*t from her, my job performance once again took a dive, and I got seriously reamed today about it. When I told the W about work troubles, she seemed completely apathetic. Then I asked about the MC. She said she's not feeling it. Then I asked her if it's because she's back to seeing other men, she said no. Finally she came out and said it was a mistake on her part for trying to get back with me because she's forcing herself and she's unhappy. Apparently she needs space again. Oh, and she wishes we could be friends, because nobody else is around to spend time with her. I did remind her that I am her husband, and if she just needs friends there are lots of people out there for that, and that if she needs lovers that are lots of people out there for that too. Sadly, she doesn't seem to know what she wants, and her unstable mood takes a serious emotional toll.

Also, finished reading Chapman's "Love Languages." Good stuff-- I think W needs Quality Time most, followed by Acts of Service. I'd ask her what she thinks, but, you know...

Sadly, I think I came to this forum too soon.