Got here late... but I'm here now.

[Vanilla]

Duke,

This straight from my heart, because I really believe this. Dads are very important to Kids and can be the more stable parent in every way.

Every time you try to appease WW then I believe the ground under you is being cut away.

Your WW is in your life only as long as she is your W, the kids are your daughters for all of your life from now. This is key, the rest is noise.

WW is exceptionally high in expectation and entitlement and that does not outweigh your rights as a father and your kids to be, see and interact with you.

It is time for you to consider your future and that of your precious gorgeous girls. It is time to stop providing succour and soothing for your WW. It's time to withdraw yourself as a cashpoint machine for WW.

Sweetheart, YOU need a future and that is for you and your children. A screaming angry mother together with a soothing placating father is poor as a role model for your daughters. At this stage they need a strong, protective and loving father. One with enough connection and hugs to go round.

Duke, no fade, your beautiful developing daughters are not an extension of WW, it would be a great sadness if they became mini WWs as a result of you placating. Your heart is good and you love greatly, but your love is enabling WW to behave as she does.

I read a man with tremendous love and capability of joy. This is inside of you, the purity that connects you to your children, from a generation of men for who the connection feeds their spirit.

There are some amazing wonderful fathers on this board, men who are the stable fabulous fathers for their children. men who through looking inwards, see growth, love and connection through investing in the relationships that nurture the spirit.

When you get an L. When you cut off fin supply, when you mediate and insist that agreements are honoured you stand for you and for your children. When you pay no more no less than agreements, when you help as much as you can that which is important to your children. Then you are becoming a man who only a fool will leave.

This is a pivot point, it is the point at which you fight for your own wellbeing and for your daughters.

Forget why WW is doing this, you will never know, it makes sense to WW. Know yourself.

Well... W continues to make life worse by the day. I really thought she would come back from a month away and have a change of heart or at least not be so heartless.

daydreams! Your WW has decided a month away is needed to create more distance.

Such is not the case. Two days after she got back she screamed at me on the phone because she couldn't access our bank account or use her card.

Time to stop this. Time to remove access to 'our' bank account. Time for WW to feel the impact of her decisions. Time for her to have her own account with her fixed amount to live on.

She accused me of changing something and cutting her off.

You should.

It ends up that she just used the wrong password.

Duh!!

Of course I was concerned as I didn't want my family to be without money so I made sure everything was OK on my end.

This makes no sense to me. WW is suffering no consequences.

Did she let me know that it was her mistake? Nope, nothing. I had to ask her a few times and eventually she told me what happened. I why she wouldn't think to let me know since I was concerned and she said "why?", like what do I care? Unreal.

Sweetheart, it's you in a daydream not WW being 'unreal'. It's like complaining an alcoholic is behaving like a drunk. Why would you expect anything different? She is a WW behaving like a WW, running wild and free as the most fun WW things to do. Entitled, petulant and out of control.

We had an agreement with a Family Mediator that I would create an online calendar that we could share so that I could help driving and take part in the kids activities. Since she controls the schedule she was supposed to fill in the dates and notify me of any special events. I made the calendar and sent her the link.

It's definitely agreed so if WW isn't complying then a boundary both legally and morally is breached. Keep very good documentation.

She told me that she was not going to complete the calendar or tell me anything. If I wanted to find anything out I would have to contact the kids 3 different schools.

Is this recorded or in writing?

I told her that she was being very spiteful and only doing this to hurt me,

Stop this, it isn't good. I know you are hurting and wanting to hit back, but you are better than this. It's bad response to bad response. How can you react in a way that gets you to where you want to be? Reflect on this, is it working?

that the only thing she was hurting was the relationship with our daughters and me.

So are you with this reaction! I would like to help you open your eyes to get you to where you want to be.

Thankfully its all in writing, about 3 pages worth.

what is available from you as a response?

I have asked many times to see my kids and to set up a schedule, she refuses and ignores.

Stop asking, insanity is doing the same thing asking for a different result. Do something else. Boundary and strong enforcing. You have the resources to change this, find the will to start fight for your daughters. Fight for your rights, not against WW.

My only option at this point is to meet with my new L next week and go the legal route.

There are many routes to this result, do that which works, hell apply them all. Go the distance.

It is very unfortunate because I was and am more than willing to participate in my kids lives in a big way,

Unfortnate? Willing? Please can you state this in a very positive way?

to be there for them and to drive them anywhere they need to be.

Being a dad is more than being there physically or taking them places? What do you want to be to your Ds? Do you see each one with individual needs? What is special about each one of them? what are their LLs?

My W is choosing to make this very difficult just to hurt me.

So you can mind read? You are the one choosing to hurt you by guessing! She may just do it because you try harder to please her. Because it's Tuesday, she has indigestion.

Pretty childish.

Pretty WW.

It sounds like V is giving you a 4x4, duke I want this fabulous loving father to fight with every ounce he has for a connection and involvement with his daughters. I want him to know he is a good man, a loving man, who is at a cross roads. At a time when these beautiful precious girls need him more than ever.

V