Where do I go from here? pt. 2

[Avanti]

... Although I don't think it's complete on his part yet either or he would have pushed more.

Exactly Beckyb, so stop the mind reading and analysing and enjoy your life. As Asitis says above your M is over (you are admitting that too) and something may happen later, no one knows, but taking things at whatever pace the day brings is fine. Why only you are paying the bills I don't understand, why isn't he taking any responsibility for the upkeep of the house, just because he moved out doesn't mean his responsibility for it?

What is the next thing you are doing that's purely for you? Recently, you've been to see friends, had a soirée at your house, what's next? Plan something if you haven't got anything, you need a distraction.

[beckyb]

He can't afford an apartment and help with the house. I just wanted him out.
I have lots of upcoming plans.

[beckyb]

I should amend my earlier response. He can't afford an apartment and help with the house expenses so there is no use asking right now. I plan to recoup 1/2 of what I pay in equity, taxes and insurance when we sell the house. Also recoup any expenses toward getting the house ready to sell.

There is no point in asking him to help maintain the house. When he took up with OW he lost any interest in doing that. He basically mentally abandon me and our home several months back.

[Butterc]

you said:

I don't feel hopeless about my life. I feel pretty hopeless about M.



Thanks for clarifying this. I am happy to hear you are staying strong. Moment by moment.

[beckyb]

Not a lot of fun GAL planned this weekend and I'm starting to feel sorry for myself. I am looking at a couple of houses for sale. Lot's of cleaning and purging that needs to be done but I'm dreading evenings alone. However, at some point I have to get used to that. I'm going to try to tough it out and keep myself busy. Maybe give myself a manicure and bubble bath.

[Avanti]

The cleaning and purging will be cathartic, if perhaps a little challenging at times as memories will be stirred up.

Is there something you could do in the evenings as a distraction? A club you could join?

The pampering of you sounds like just the trick, listen to some music, maybe dance a bit (even if it does feel a bit silly a first) and read. Plan some outings with friends, call someone you haven't spoken to in a while.

Try not to think of the evenings as time to dread but a time to get back in contact with beckyb and who she really is and what she stands for.

Remember, thoughts are just thoughts, they aren't reality, so don't let them bog you down.

[beckyb]

Did some painting. Now enjoying a glass of wine and a lovely ev6o. The deck.

[Avanti]

Painting as in walls or canvas? Either's great, just interested.

Are you red, white or green wine drinker? Green being the color of the bottle and you are too bothered about the color of the contents?

Forgive my ignorance, what is an ev6o?

What have you got planned for the weekend? My grown up daughter is here for the weekend and we are going out for a meal tonight and a 15 mile walk with some friends of mine tomorrow; it was something I'd arranged before I knew she was coming and I was gobsmacked when she, out of nowhere, said she'd like to come too.

[beckyb]

Mostly white. Last night was an unoaked Chardonnay. It should have said evening. Darn auto correct.
I was painting wall. Getting ready to put the house on the market in early spring.

15 miles! Holy cow. I love to walk,but that's a long way. I'm working on getting in better shape, so who knows.

Garage cleaning this morning and house hunting this afternoon.

Have fun with your daughter.

[beckyb]

H just texted to say he wants to talk to me. Don't know what about but probably about D and probably not good. Waiting a little bit to answer.