Gosh - that sounds like a super hard conversation. I agree with Cadet that looking at yourself might be key - but it sounds like your partner has a lot of issues that you can't fix for her. Do you think there might have been something in the way that you act with her (other than the delay over moving in with her - I mean general day to day interaction) that might remind her of previous bad experiences?
It is a huge and tricky thing to want to be available and committed to someone and to demonstrate that in a loving way, and also not to take on the burden of fixing their issues or of filling a bottomless well of insecurity that you can't do.
I think it's right that you're putting yourself and your daughter first right now.
