Dealing With Walk Away Girlfriend With "Issues"

[Scotsman]

hi everyone,

I find myself back on this board after a few years away!

Very briefly my sitch: in a very serious relationship with girlfriend for 15 months, lived together planning to get married, try for a family etc. I have a 10 year old daughter from previous marriage. Ex gf has no kids and hadn't had experience of dealing with a bf with a child 'til me.

My ex bought a house in the summer and the plan was for me to move in with her. My daughter's resistance to the move caused me to move slower than my ex wished. My ex convinced herself I was never going to move and wasn't even in love with her and so ended things!

I believe my ex has abandonment/attachment issues. Very unorthodox upbringing: mostly absent father, mother married 5 times, mother killed herself 4 years ago and blamed my ex for doing so in her suicide note. These insecurities let her to flee I believe.

Having practiced DBing before, I was aware of the things to do/not do. Our breakup has been "good" in the sense that it was amicable and respectful chats were had. I haven't begged and pleaded and have validated her decisions.

I have been practicing unconditional love with no expectations towards her. I know she still loves me and is at least ambivalent about ending our relationship. she and I recognize that she has work to do to heal herself and become more relationship aware, particularly in a blended family context.

So right now, I'm trying to detach, give her loving space and try just to be a supportive, caring friend to her. I'm not initiating any contact with her. Generally, when I pull back, she'll come forward and vice versa.

I've read lots of great stuff on these boards but would appreciate any comments, insights or advice that anyone could throw my way.

Thanks for your time and care:)