Help for LBH who has a WW (new thread)

[Flight]

The WW often shows extreme coldness or meanness to her H b/c it is her way of telling him to back away and to not get any ideas that there's still hope for them. She is over him. She has no feelings left. She is doing all she can to discourage any attempts he may be considering. The best thing a LBH could do at this point is not show her how much he cares for her! She does not want him "proving his love".

I have a confict between this advice and the advice to "do what works". But perhaps I am misinterpreting my results. My W began an EA at work and wanted a separation. We have been living for a little over 7 months with an in house separation. At first I did the chasing and pleading but have since given a lot more space. He is no longer at the job and I know she does not see him, but I can't rule out she doesn't have text contact with him.

I know "hovering" or trying to make too much idle chit chat is a no-no, but we have had some interactions whether it be a text exchange, or I send her a letter that leads to a conversation that seems to evoke a connection. My obvervastion seems to be that absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder and that our positives occur from talking in a non-chasing or non pushing way. For example, in response to something she said about wanting to be accepted for who she is, I wrote a letter about apologizing for vocalizing my true feelings and letting her know what I valued in her. She called me to her room and was crying. We talked more. She said through her tears, "what I wouldn't have given to have heard you say that a year ago".

We went to an event with two of our kids and seemed to connect. She was angry with me about something, so I just validated her in a text and thanked her for some things recently and for giving me a new memory I would cherish. For two days she was extremeley nice to me. Also she DOES seem to notice all my changes and is curious about them and sometimes even angry "why didn't you do this when I asked you to??". She tells people that all my help around the house is something she notices.

So my question is, how to balance GAL and acting like I am having the time of my life without her, with sending a one-way text once in a while or talking when she wants to and validating her about her confused feelings. The other day she said she thought for two weeks about how she might be able to try again, but then when she saw me, she felt she just couldn't right now. It was what seemed to be an honest talk. She is sharing a lot of tears lately when we talk about feelings she is apparently still processing.

And lastly, is there a problem with Sandi's keyboard or some reason she keeps saying "stitch" instead of "sitch"?