only to realize that we only probably had sex because they were dirty talking all day making her horny for him(Not sure if that's why or not, but that's how ny mind works)
I think you are right.
Okay, something I want you to stop doing. Stop apologizing to the cheater. She used you as a substitute for OM........and you apologized the rest of the evening b/c you didn't please her? That makes no sense to me. She is cheating on you!!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
