running around like a chicken without a head

[Sotto]

Hi Overcom, V put this well - it isn't so much a case of detaching from him as 'attaching' to your own life. If you are 'detaching from him' it's kind of still all about him. But if you are just getting on with your own life 'as if' he will never return, it's more about YOU! And let's face it, he may or may not ever return. But I think he's more likely to if he sees you moving confidently forward - though it's important you don't do it 'for him' you need to do it 'for you.'

Some of the successful things I've done are volunteering (charity book store), yoga class, aqua aerobics, womens social group, regular calligraphy workshop. I also make a point of accepting invites now - and I keep in regular touch with friends old & new, suggesting we do things together. The upshot is that most time spent with others, out, engaged in new interests, working - will be time spent thinking less about your sitch. I can honestly say that there is much about my 'new' life that I would be reluctant to give up. I'm not sure where that leaves 'us' but there we have it.

I have minimal contact with H. The last email contact we had was initiated by H and we had not been in touch for a month prior to that. We haven't spoken for a few months or seen each other for over a year. I resist 'urges' to be in touch with him and I go off and clean the oven or 'do anything' to avoid getting in touch.

I hope this helps. We are all different, but the above stuff has helped my progress for sure. xx