-Did you marry this guy thinking you could change him? The funny thing is that he had made a complete change between the time I met him and when I married him. He was on the verge of becoming an alcoholic when I first met him, put everything and everyone before me, etc. We split up for 2-3 months after dating for a year. During that time, he pretty much gave up drinking (aside from occasional social drinking) and was willing to put our relationship first. He was really busy with his business, so there was no indication of laziness. I wasn't paying when we went out. The sex issue was there from the get go though; it became more of an issue when he stopped drinking as much.
-Are you horribly ugly and unsuitable for a decent guy? I've already answered that in my initial reply to you. I had no trouble getting dates with other men and did date other people besides my H before marrying him.
-Do you like abuse? I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 18 years. My current H has not been abusive towards me. The mean comments, which are nothing like the verbal abuse my ex used to do, are recent. We actually got along pretty well before we started counseling, with our main arguments being about sex. I asked him repeatedly to contribute to the finances, and he always promised to do so even though he seldomly follwed through. The fact that the counselor echoed things I had already been saying have made things much worse. He had his first session alone last week. Our prior sessions have been joint. Now, he's really on the attack for some reason. The verbal attack is a new element in our relationship.
-Why were you attracted to this guy in the first place? He's a fun person to be around, we like a lot of the same things, and I was physically attracted to him.
