Letting go, really hurts (Smothy 9)

[Pyrite]

great to hear Smoth

and it wilt better for you everyday.

the anger thing will likely continue, peak, and then you will get over it. then your brain will search out something else to get angry about and you will be thrown back to non-acceptance. you will desperately want to email these latest cutting remarks/criticisms/comments/... . Resist. you will get over this one too. and the next and the next. until eventually there'll be none left.

ESPECIALLY because you started on this path with the mindset that you dont want to become bitter - you won't. at times you will feel so angry that you think you have failed and you have become bitter. this will pass, and beautiful Smothy will be back.

i think of my sitch every hour, not every minute anymore, but it isn't overwhelming anymore either. My mum 25 years on and remarried still thinks about her 1st M regularly. My dad says it never goes away. and i dont expect it to, neither should you. it will eventually become just another THING in your life.

all the best

-Py