First Post, She just Left, Very unsure

[Shrike]

Nails in the coffin. I wish I could stop thinking.

Before I started trying the LRT or going dark or NC. She said she's finally figured out what she wants to do. She doesn't see herself having a future with me. She has all these goals she wants to achieve, but cant with me, because im not ready as a person, she needs a man, not a child. These statements really hurt me as a person. Because these are things I believe(d) we could have/were doing together. Then boom she's gone. Says shes hasn't felt it for years. I mean then why didn't she make a big stink about it then >:( on second thought this is her big stink right now. I know I should take this as a chance to move on. But I LOVE my wife.

For me going dark seems like more of the behavior she didn't like in the marriage. And yes I realize I shouldn't be doing this, hoping that it will change something in her. But I want to ask if it will help or hinder? Or is that rhetorical, because this is more about me giving myself time to clear my head and focus on GAL etc. I guess have a lot of work to do before I can truly detach and live for me and not her.

ERRGGGGGGGGHHHHH I want to be free of the pain. I dont want to wait around months or years for it to go away. Im trying to be patient but it hurts.