My H (LD/ND) and I have been married for almost 2 years; we're not going to make it to the 2 year mark, unfortunately. We've been together since 1999, with a brief time apart in 2000.
During most of that time he has not contibuted financially at all. We started counseling in Oct. with the problem of HD/LD and the money issue. HE is the one who asked for counseling. Now, I think he was using that as a means to the end. I'm not sure why though as he is not capable of moving out and supporting himself. Everytime we have a fight he insists that "I" am kicking him out, which isn't true. I only recently brought up the idea of divorce.
The counselor has told him that he needs to do the following: 1) initiate 2-3 times a week and 2) contribute consistently to the finances. I'm not sure if he expected her to say that he never had to touch me again and never had to hand over a single penny. He simply doesn't want to do either of those things, so I'm the bad guy in all of this.
Suddenly, everything is my fault. I've been trying to kick him out for the last 2 years. He's been trying to find a job for the last 2 years, and I haven't helped him in any way. He's given up everything...what more do I want him to give up. Yet, he fails to realize that he has lived with me for 3 years now (2 while married) and has never had to pay a dime towards the mortgage. I've taken money out of my retirement and refinanced my house to bail him out of bad business decisions in his business before he started "looking" for a job 2 years ago. He said some awful things to me today that I can never forgive. At one point I suggested that he just get his gun out and shoot me instead. He's, however, willing to continue working on things if I "support" him.
