Hi Anna, it sounds as though that talk went as well as it could have done. And I agree that you should stick with your DB coach and follow their advice.
It sounds as though your H's plans are a little half baked. He wants to do stuff that he can't really afford to do. He's looking for extra work will find a cheap place etc. He may end up living somewhere pretty cr@ppy, or may move in with OW (can't recall her circs...) So I would prepare yourself for that.
You may want to come to an agreement about the kids and OW if you can. Though ultimately he may make his own choices about this. Don't set too much store about things being poor with OW. The R with my H and OW seems to have been rocky from the outset - on - off - on etc. But she's still on the scene somewhere 18 months later....
About finances - again, I would agree a clear plan and be vigilant about monitoring things. WAS's often say they want to be fair, but in practice don't honour this. I know it may feel hard to take the L step, but my advice would be to have the free consults and engage your L, so you are ready to instruct them if needed. I was so reluctant to take that step, but I have never regretted it.
You're doing really well. You don't get through this sitch without engaging with some brutal reality and I think you are doing that. But also remain faith that ultimately your life will become happier again - either with your H in it, or not. Have you read about the Stockdale Paradox? Many DBers have found the duality within it helpful...
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
