It has to come from her, as if someone pushes it on her she'll blame that person, and there will be no result because she'd have gone again her will.
Agreed.
Thank you for some of you that understand. If I were coming on here to say " I beat my wife. What can I do to get her back?" That would be something completely different. I never implied that I was the perfect husband and I made that VERY clear several times. I needed to paint the picture of the situation to make it clear what I am dealing with. She never mentioned things were bothering her. I also mentioned above the things I did and am working on.
I did not say I was a great husband, but I was dedicated and faithful. I have doubted myself in the past because she basically told me I was all these horrible things and other have reassured me that it is not all me. And yes, I am a good husband. Not perfect, but good.
I am also not trying to fix her. I don't think she is broken and she is not a non-person. She has many wonderful qualities and that is what makes me want to hold onto her. Last year when we were in MC, she said she is afraid she will like being on her own, but also said she is afraid she is losing her best friend.
She needs help and I know I cannot make her get it. I also mentioned that she was wavering on coming back and has changed her mind several times over the past year (or at least said she was). I also mentioned that we have had many good times together.
I never implied I was trying to solve her problems. I took the advice of the MC and the required online parenting class for the court and wrote up a trial separation (basically plagiarized it from the online site) that included renting or buying her a separate place. It would have been a good start for her to actually know what it is like to be on her own like she wants, figure things out and work on things more amicably. She has not been able to do that and unfortunately, she is getting advice from those who are biased and do not know the real situation. Both husband and wife have their own sides of the situation and some family members become biased.
Again, I have been in therapy for the past year and am working on myself. I know there are things I could have done differently. Unfortunately, we don't always see ourselves from another's eyes, but there were a lot of things she never communicated to me.
I believe most marriages are salvageable, but I understand both have to be willing, but I thought that was the whole point of this site. It wouldn't have done me any good to come on here and say "my wife left for good and I don't know why. I needed to provide a little background.
I just wanted to see if anyone had similar situations and advice. I was also trying to find out if this sounds to anyone like a MLC.
