Not in my eyes or in the eyes of many others on the board, including Sandi. Limbo allows women to keep things exactly where they want them for an indefinite period of time. It also allows her to have her cake and eat it too. At least you are separated, so the cake eating is minimal. Regardless, limbo has the effect of making you, the LBH, more insane by the minute. It will ultimately be up to you how long you will wait this out. Advising someone as to a particular time frame is not something I'm prepared to do. Remember you are working on changing yourself by detaching, getting a life, and becoming a better person. Use the time wisely.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
Yeah, I understand. I should have never stayed over at my old place. The insane part is true. Just waking up in my old bed with my wife felt like heaven and here I am again at ground zero once again.
I feel she is treating me this way because she is scared how she can't control her feelings when I am around.
Like.....in feeling that she loves you? That doesn't make much sense, and it doesn't fit the profile of a WW.
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The plan for me to move back as been in motion for a month. I have a job, a place to live, etc. There will be no contact from me at all. I am not even letting her know when I am leaving or where I am moving.
What's your point in going? Does your family live in Chicago?
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Her first marriage was when she was young and dumb. Her last one before me was because she got bored and sexual issues.
Wow!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I am reading it right now. We are 44 and 43 and have been together seven years and married 5. I am started to see your guys points. I am just confused why she would see me, tell me loves me, martial relations, etc etc. I have no family in Chicago. They are all over the country. I just want to do the right thing for me.
I am just beyond sad. The feeling of elation when she was in my arms to what I am feeling now. Why would she do this to me? Time to walk away with my head held high. Lionheart.
I don't know that a LBH can understand why his WW does what she does. She's not logical, and she's probably not who/what you thought she was when you M her. She's really emotionally unstable and some H's would swear she's mentally unstable. She's not responsible or reliable. She's hot then cold, and goes up & down and round & round, making everyone dizzy. It's bad enough that some H's decide to file just to get out of the terrible pain she inflicts. That's not what I'd call a rational woman, would you?
This woman has already divorced two men, and saying she wants to divorce the third one. That tells me she makes decisions on a whim or in the spur of the moment. Then when it doesn't turn out to be what she thought, she's ready to dispose of it. Even for women who are usually solution minded, the WW appears to have none of those skills. So, I'm telling you to have high expectations of figuring her out anytime soon.
You can't use old methods that once might have succeeded in improving an otherwise okay relationship. This is not the same as just improving things. It's probably different from whatever you "feel" you should be doing to get your W to stay in the M.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Ok, thank you. I am just going to lay low and go dark. I blocked all access to my social media as well. I am 95 percent sure there will be contact soon. How should I react or should I? Thanks for all your help!
I am 95 percent sure there will be contact soon. How should I react or should I?
Do you mean if she should ask why you stopped following her on the social network or blocked her?
If she is the gall, then just give her a short & truthful answer and keep moving forward. Maybe say, "I did what I thought was best for me", or something better. No emotions, nothing to feed her ego, and don't accept any guilt she tries to inflict. The point is to let her think & feel whatever. Don't be concerned about it. You are trying to focus on keeping your side of the street clean. You don't have time to sweep her side, too.
Last edited by sandi2; 09/17/1507:54 PM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
