Hi Lisa, I was feeling like you when I first joined in. I still have relaps, but looking back 6 months ago, I am now in a better place (even though at times it's hard).
I have come to realise that I cannot change my H nor what he did to me, but I have improved myself and I like the new me.
I think DB isn't only about saving your mariage but more about what you learnt and who you really are. You are still in the first stages of this roller coaster, so don't put too much pressure on you. Take time to feel your emotions and ride with them. I know easier said than done. Take each day as it comes, if not take each hour as it comes. Try to see the positives.
One of mine today was that it was really pouring down and had no umbrella. Before I'd have pester about being soaking wet, but today I dreamt about going under the rain and jump in the poodles!
