This sounds all too familiar. Sometimes even when you are dark, they will accuse you of pursuit and "pressure". Obviously no more flowers or any correspondence unless she initiates.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
Ok. That is all I can do. From reading on here I totally understand. Me taking control back totally threw her for a loop. When she sees me face to face she puts her guard done and her true feelings come out. I don't believe anything she says when she flips out. I saw the divorce papers lying there. That says it all as they were supposed to be filed months ago. The whole time I stayed calm, cool and collected.
My first thought about her quick turnaround is that you were her Plan B. Apparently, her Plan A either dumped her, or she thought it wasn't working out. So, she calls good ole MPK. She pours it on and makes you think she's feeling the love again. But wait.......something happened to cause a dramatic and fast change. Seems Plan A is back.
If you don't have kids with her, my advice is stay where you are. Why move back and make yourself available, knowing she is capable of treating you in this manner?
The biggest thing is not to pursue her! She has already called you a stalker. If you move back, she may get a RO against you........then what? Go dark......and do it from Chicago.
Btw, why did she divorce her previous H's?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
No children with her. The plan for me to move back as been in motion for a month. I have a job, a place to live, etc. There will be no contact from me at all. I am not even letting her know when I am leaving or where I am moving.
Her first marriage was when she was young and dumb. Her last one before me was because she got bored and sexual issues. I feel she is treating me this way because she is scared how she can't control her feelings when I am around.
I am not going to pursue her and I will be an hour away. Since we had the phone convo on Friday, I have not said anything. I am fine with myself but I do not understand the games. It was like we were married again.
I feel that she is. She was so happy to show me them and state she is not gonna file them. Then this happened. Like I said I am just gonna lay low and go silent. I have worked on myself and am in a good place but I understand the rocky road which is ahead. Once she told me she loved me, I knew she wants me back.
Once she told me she loved me, I knew she wants me back.
A risky presumption. Are you 100% sure there is no affair involved? Sounds like typical affair behavior to me.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
We are separated. I don't care what she did or does during our time apart. That is not my biz. Just like its not hers. I just knew that during the four days we were together, it was like we were husband and wife again. Legally we still are. I don't consider it an affair if she was seeing someone during our 8 months apart.
No way would she introduce me to new people as her husband if there was no hope. Ah this [censored].
Actually for your sake, I really hope you are right. But I think you might be receiving false hope. As a personal anecdote, there were several times during our separation during which my wife would introduce me as her husband and everything seemed like it was back to normal. Time will tell. Her actions will speak louder than her words. By the way, her riding the fence and doing nothing, (aka limbo), IS an action that should speak loudly.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
