I think they feel the loss, but it is you that is the cause of all that pain. Even ones w/ ICs miss a lot of how their pain is self-inflicted & about their issues. It blocks a lot of personal growth.

We are blessed & cursed with not being able to deceive ourselves in this way. Blessed because we are better able to look at ourselves & grow. Cursed because we don't have an easy scapegoat to shift blame to for all our pain.

I fluctuate between resentment & compassion for my W on this. Usually the compassion wins the day, but there are moments.

Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15