Moving Through it 11

[asitis]

Just a suggestion on the communication thing: follow up your yes or no answers with a clarifying question. For instance, do you have a soccer ball? Yes, is there something you want me to do?

On the picking up snacks, I don't think it is our turn to provide snacks, so why do you ask?

She is not making the implicit explicit, and she is unlikely to change this. You can either allow the communication to continue to lead to conflict, or you can step up and find a way to mitigate the pattern. She's probably thinking you're being dense or intentionally obtuse. She may continue to think you are dense for asking, but at least you will be communicating better. Just one of the many sacrifices of being the adult in the R.

Can't help you on the struggle with why she chose this. Just know that almost all of us here are going through that, and we understand your pain and frustration. Unfortunately, we may never get that kind of closure, as our Ss may not fully understand themselves, and even if they do, they are unlikely to make themselves that open to us at least in the foreseeable future. It is a hard probability to accommodate oneself to. Hope you have better luck on it than I am.