It is great to hear from you @roiste. I'm sorry you're in the same boat as me, but also glad I am not the only one. I know that sounds terrible, but I hope you know what I mean.
I know I am responsible for the state things are in with us. But I can't fix them on my own.
Have you read Passionate Marriage? I've found that really really useful. The ideas about differentiation are really similar to the DB principles and I agree with them. It's all about controlling yourself, not your spouse, and giving you spouse the freedom to make choices.
