I am not a big advice giver as I too am no expert.

Whereas circumstances are different we are in a similar situation.I have had no verbal BD but my W has checked out on several important levels.So I just wanted to say hi and to let you know that you are not alone.

I too question if I am allowing a pointless situation linger. L hesitate between gaining W space and time (whilst I work on my sissues/goals/180s etc) and dropping a bomb myself. It is tough.

I'll check in again soon.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together