Thanks Lou, I know you are right... I just feel very shocked that anyone would treat young people who are grieving like this.
I will focus on helping them move forwards, but i worry that this sort of thing is something that scars you forever.
The only reason I can think of for them not to be told of the funeral is that XH didn't want to risk them telling any of his family members that he refuses to pay any child support for them. He is patently not impoverished, so it would be very awkward for him.
On the other hand, maybe they have all just written us off as 'bad' people who XH was lucky to get away from.
