Need advice for a WW who left Part 3

[dwh15]

Well, I'm just feeling angry tonight. Having gone through 6 months of He11, and only experiencing very brief periods anger, I find that I'm transitioning to a state of being angry a lot more of the time. I realize that anger is a big part of the grieving process, so maybe this is a good sign that I am finally making progress and moving out of denial. Not sure what finally triggered it to happen, except maybe the length of time, and possibly the greatly increased amount of NC the past few weeks. WW has gotten to a point she rarely even tries to communicate anymore.

She sends TMs directly to S18 to coordinate plans on her nights. I made an issue out of it for a while but I decided to just give up. If that's how she wants to arrange things, then I let her do it that way. If it doesn't work out as planned because she relied on S18 and didn't involve me, then too bad. WW also dropped Monday nights, which is 1 of only 3 nights she was seeing the kids, and has yet to schedule a replacement. That was 2 weeks ago, but still nothing from her. So now it's only 2 nights/week, and sometimes she'll take them for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon.

The pure selfishness that she exhibits continues to amaze me, and fuels my anger. I feel bad for my kids, who are starting to see mom as more of a favorite aunt than a mother. I feel bad for myself, having to take on the roll of bother father and mother, in addition to being the only source of financial support. In the mean time, WW has submersed herself completely in a new world with OM, and even goes so far as to call herself "grandma" to one of OM's grandkids. The sheer nerve of someone to do that, while still being officially M to another man, and who has her own kids just drives me insane.

Sorry for the vent, but felt I needed to get it out. The upside is that I am rapidly detaching from WW, much more so than the past few months combined. I still get pangs of doubt and pain, but overall I'm letting go and seriously doubting my ability or desire to want to be with WW ever again. It would take an extraordinary amount of change and convincing on her part for me to buy in at this point. The sad thing is that I feel she really is going to eventually reach a place where the reality of her choices hits home and she possibly wants to R, but I don't think it will be for some time yet, possibly another couple of years, and I will not be waiting around for that long. I simply don't have it in me to keep living this way for that amount of time.

Plans for now remain the same, but I am further convinced every day that I'm rapidly moving towards my breaking point. I have no doubt that I will be filing for D early 2016 if nothing changes by then. Well, off to try and get some sleep to start the work and school week again. Good night my fellow DBers.