MLC Funhouse continues

[HaWho]

Sotto and Job-thank you. You are right. You nailed it. More detaching. I did it Frisay and Saturday but couldn't today.

Meanwhile one other issue I have is with MIL. She has some inkling that something is off. She was sniffing that something was wrong w/H as he fell off the planet with his FOI. She kept asking me and I kept saying everything is fine. But in May she confirmed something was off w/H by calling him and asking something and then calling me minutes later and receiving a different answer.

She confronts me saying she knows H is off and asks what is going on with him. I give a little info-that he is in a funk and working through it.

Her answer is horrifying. She tells me he was born angry and that I should pack my bags and leave him. I spent months reeling from that. She is the root of 99% of this. She has learned nothing. She owns none of it and her comment was an insult.

Had she said nothing or "I am so sorry you are going through this" I would have given her a pass. But I know the kinds of things she did and H was not born this way.

She dropped out of my solar system (another blow as she always checked in with me) and texted me once a month, maybe. Always: how are the kids? Me: Fine! How are you?

Never a question about H. This gave me more compassion for H.

Last week she texts that she has not talked to me in a while and asks me to call her sometime. And here is where the struggle is. She will ask how H is. And I want to tell her politely that H is working through childhood issues. I want to do this to cue her that H was not born angry. He was an emotional and physical target in his own own home while still in diapers.

I know this will not solve a thing. But by saying nothing I feel like I am agreeing that H was just born this way. To what end though? To punish an old woman for something she did 45 years ago? But then I feel I am not defending my H. I feel like I paint this guy as just struggling along for no reason and that's not fair or honest either.