I believe he is spinning and processing as well. I also think these times call for no expectations. H seems to be in and out, give him that space when he needs it and remember, it's not about you.
Unfortunately, things are on his terms right now....in a way...but don't need to be. What I mean is, live your life and make those plans. If he joins, great, if only for a bit, definitely an effort, if not, so be it. No expectations is key to doing things your way on your terms. Then the disappointments and frustrations fade. I can only say, it has worked well for me.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-