Flailing

[Lost08]

Your right! Of course I'm not smarter than an objective professional. I guess I'm still fighting against this new reality. I take care of others for a living. It's what I do, who I am. Never the other way around.

Azzork and others have advised me to try to find something, a distraction, to GAL.

I'm having trouble with that right now. New apt./new town, unforgiving schedule etc. Where the children & I live moved is a local "island." Beach town if you will. I've asked around about yoga/exercise groups/any kind of groups. None right now - in about 2 weeks, everything shuts down completely. You would have to travel to the mainland for most anything.

A local woman told me this morning it gets pretty desolate! Yikes.

So, right now my schedule is something like up at 4/4:30 am, get the kids up and started for the day, leave them on their own to get to bus for school, drive over an hour commute to work for 6:40am, leave work in late afternoon to drive back to island to pick up kids, drive them to other towns for respective sports, return home around 9pm, have dinner, do chores and fall into bed.

Now I'll also have to find time to manage the house back in our original town.

I suppose meditation might work. I would prefer a group. I'm lonely and would like the company of other adults and the distraction from my surroundings that remind me of H and the loss of my M.

I did take up running in the last few weeks while H was here to be with kids, drive one or the other to sports, etc. When he leaves on Sat., things are going to get a little hairy.

I'm going to keep trying and looking. I did find a fitness class near D14 gymnastics. That would be once a week. Just don't have coverage for S12 yet.