Alligator Love

[Zues126]

Yesterday was a blast. I ended up winning the pool tournament, then played some poker with a friend. He made a deep run in a tournament so we didn't leave until around 2AM. Lot-o-action.

In regards to the pool tournament, I think my experience and knowing myself made a huge difference. You all might think from me writing this that I'm just some juggernaut, but that's far from the case. The reason pool means so much to me is because I was such a weak, pokey, insecure and timid player...and yet with many, many years of practice I was able to learn to 'defend' myself on the pool table.

The #1 most important thing to succeed in any endeavor is DESIRE. You must be hungry. I have typically done well because I have more fire in my belly than pretty much anyone I've ever met. Where does this come from? It is NOT the need to prove I'm 'better' than everyone else. It's to prove that I'm not 'worse' than everyone else. It achieves the same, but it comes from an opposite attitude. I'm not looking to beat anyone, but I can't stand the idea of getting beat!

The challenge I faced yesterday is that I showed up at the poolhall for the tournament, and I felt old and soft. I wasn't that hungry. With all I'm going through pool just didn't seem very important. I even made the comment to a friend "the problem these days is sometimes I don't feel like playing until I'm eliminated from the tournament". In other words, I would play somewhat disengaged, and then only after losing would my engines fire up. Too late. This wasn't the case when I was playing all of the time. Then I was in constant action, and I was 'tournament tough' and always hungry. But watching the younger up and coming players warm up I could tell they were hungrier than me, that they were working hard on their games, that they were eager to get a shot at me and take down a 'name player'. It just made me feel so tired by contrast. I wondered why I was even there.

One of the young guns asked me to warm up with a quick set for $20. This is pretty cheap in the gambling world. The funny thing is on paper I'm a huge favorite, I'm a top player and while he's good he doesn't have the experience I have...but I knew he would have 500% more desire than I did, especially in a little cheap set when I was out of practice. I felt like playing him would be like giving the money away.

But then I had the idea that maybe if I lost $20 to him it would wake up my competitive juices, and it might help me get into rhythm in time for the tournament. So I agreed to play him. Sure enough I lost that set 5-0, I played tired, he played nothing short of inspired.

Then the tournament started. Small field, 8 players, single elimination. But 8 good players. I got a soft draw and sleepwalked through my first match, but along with my warm up set it got me used to being at the table.

My second set I played the young gun that just shot me full of holes in our $20 set. This match was to get to 2nd place which paid $220. I REALLY wanted this set, and the desire was back. Suddenly I wasn't a tired old man. I was as tough as a grizzly, breathing heavy, so intense my gaze was almost scaring the balls into the pockets. I felt like I had tapped into some ocean, some universe of determination that was just out there to be harnessed, I found it, and enlisted it onto my side. The adversity I faced was like water crashing on the waves. None of it could slow me down. I played absolutely brilliant shots, one after another, everything came together, and it was nearly airtight, just squeezing and squeezing until the set was over. He didn't win a game.

Suddenly I was in the finals against- the same guy that I played in the finals last time (two months ago they ran the same tournament and this guy beat me). When I'm playing my best I think I can get there with this guy, but we're on his 'home tables', he's playing a lot, and he got me last time. I was afraid he'd run me over. I made up my mind to fight as hard as I could, and kick and scream with every shot.

Hunger is a funny thing. It's like he could sense how hungry I was, and it rattled him, and I got opportunities, and I absolutely seized them. Next thing you know it was over, he too never won a game.

In fact, I just realized I didn't lose a game yesterday. I think it's safe to say I've never whitewashed a tournament before.

What's so funny is how worn out I felt before the tournament, and how hulked out I felt during and after. I realized I won this tournament on experience. Not during the match, but BEFORE. My gut told me losing that $20 was what I needed to do. While I didn't deliberately lose the warm up set, I intuitively knew I was going to get beat up that set, and I also knew that my own inner fears and insecurities would wake up, and that was exactly what I needed. Like spinach to Popey. Again, as a competitor you really have to understand at a fundamental level how you work, and how to put the pieces together. It's all a game of desire, and I've done well by timing my desire to exactly when I need to have it to get the job done.

So I'm proud of my performance, and it is truly a treat to play at the level I do. I wish I could share with you all how it feels to execute the way I am able to at times. It's just sublime. And it was nice to win money. It always feels good to get the cash.

Back to reality today...laundry, dishes, preparing for this week at work. Updates on legal stuff soon. But wanted to share a little about why I love pool so much, and give a deeper look into my day.

I only wish I'd had someone with me to root me on, or share it with me. I'll share with y'all instead, and know that I appreciate all of you.