Not one of my finer moments tonight. We were at my S12's baseball game, in a bit of a sketchy town. It was dark and late, D14 decided to leave and walked ahead of me. I lost her in the crowd, anxiously speed-walked to the car only to find she wasn't there either. Frantic, calling her cell. Only getting voicemail. Calling H, who doesn't answer either. Finally end up getting a panicky call from her, sobbing and saying she doesn't know where she is...I immediately find her and I'm so beside myself that I'm yelling. I mean, no self-control. I'm totally frayed and all that beautiful young girl needed was her mom to grab her and say "Thank God!"
I completely messed up. Apologized up and down to her, telling her I was so scared of losing her and my emotions, they came out all wrong. I wasn't mad at her. She was so upset. I ended up crying over the whole thing at home. Then H came home, wanted to know what's wrong and gives me a friendly consoling hug. ugh.
I never cry in front of anyone. Now it seems that's all I do.
What kind of mom am I? sh**
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
