Greetings Solo, I just ran my errands. Life's funny, 2-3 months ago I would race through my errands and rush back home to try to fix the marriage. Today, I put on the radio, drove from place to place and enjoyed the solitude. Patience and time got me here and it will bring you to a better place.
Solo, I would like to share my thoughts with you on what you mentioned in your post on my thread today:
"Honestly, I never fathomed how my life could be turned into something this horrible. The pain you are going through is agony. Just by being here, all of us are united in a special way. We all love. We are all afraid, broken, and hurting. Bleeding out every day. Trying to hold on in the maelstrom of blows that rain down on us. It strips us down to our bones."
I feel your pain Solo. I am saddened by reading your words, they are written with such honest, strong emotion. I am so sorry you have to have this pain in your life, it gnaw's at you soul. I went through this also, like many here. Remember this Solo, "This too shall pass".
I would like to share my thoughts on what you wrote here:
"Then there are these other people. Our spouses. They are not like us. They are not here trying. I have a certain hatred in me for all of them. The selfishness."
Don't let the hate consume you, don't go down this path. As John Lennon said "Love is all you need". They are simply broken people, emotionally and/or psychologically broken. They are fighting their demons and thinking only of themselves. Yes they are selfish but don't hate them. I feel sorrow for them, not pity, sorrow. They are lost trying to find their way and can't see the forest through the trees. For some of them, there is such emptiness within and may have had it all their lives. You and I have our faults and they have theirs. I am not excusing them for their actions and actions do have consequences.
What I'm trying to get across is you can love your wife with all your heart and not like what she is doing one bit. Don't let hate in Solo, it is not your friend and it will consume you little by little.
