So W calls me to let me know that she locked the MBR and that she has the key, but won't be coming home as she is going out to dinner and a movie. I was caught of guard, and said "Oh, a date" to which she responds with "I will let you live in your head"; I quickly responded with "Ok, well have a great time" and her response was "I plan to".
ILYNOT - you are right that's the way that I am seeing it. They know they are hurting us, sometimes they do it intentionally and have no compassion. It is that selfishness they currently are experiencing. That's y I am starting to distance myself. I will love her from a distance.
Azzork - after some thought I realized that the best course of action would have been to not even acknowledge the comment or information. Just answer the reason y she called. I am starting to realize that if I still show her that I am emotionally attached, she will continue to do these types of things.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Another great night of sleep, except that today I woke up with my boys which is always a blessing. Of course, I woke up missing my W, wishing that things were different and that we were a family again.
Every morning lately I go through a routine to boost my PMA:
- Do some Calisthenics - Journal in my notebook - Listen to Joel Osteen sermons - Read the Bible - Read Positive Quotes - Read Inspirational Book - Drink some Chamomile tea
This seems to help me get to a calm state of mind and emotions. Will work on visualization of interactions with W, so that I can be better prepare to validate and not be hurt as much by saying or asking something that I shouldn't ask or say.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
It is not easy. I feel the anxiety building up this morning. It doesn't want to go away, it means that I must be repressing some of my emotions. So I am sitting journaling, feeling, and accepting the thoughts that are coming with the feelings of fear. Tell you that this is all a big learning experience. Such a bitter sweet scenario to be growing due to so much pain and hurt.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Every morning lately I go through a routine to boost my PMA:
I think this is great. For some of us, especially in trying times, the feeling of a PMA doesn't just automatically come. We have to feed it with positive resources.
Good job!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Just saying hello EM. I hope your enjoying the day. I am building on the experiences of each past day and inching towards DB enlightenment. I see how the farther you get down this path the more manageable this becomes. Not necessarily easier but manageable.
I have noticed a good thing in you posts. You may not have noticed it yourself. When you post now the main subject is you, not your wife. That indicates your focused and working on you. This is a good thing, a very good thing.
You should be proud of yourself, now stop smiling and get back to DB'ing
Good for you with the routine EM. I'm pleased to read that. Do you roll into work around lunchtime??
No, seriously it's good to know that the routine is always there to help you when you need it. And when you feel low, you know that you can do the routine and things will feel more manageable. That's what it's all about.
Keep up the great work! xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
