Thought I better check in. I have had a REALLY busy week. Work has been crazy. Kids have been busy in school. S7 was sick for 2 days. Not sure if it was a stomach bug or from the upsetting phone call he had with his mom the night before. I know he did not sleep well that night. He was missing his mom that night. I am not sure what all was said, but he got off the phone crying. He said he did not want to fly on a plane and he was scared. He had to sit with me for quite awhile to get calmed down. He also told me his keeps telling him that she moved to take care of his grandma and so she could go to school. We did have a talk about that and I told him that I will not lie to him and will not lie for his mom. I let the counselor know about it so they can talk about it at the next session.
I did send STBXW a text asking her to be careful what she says to him because when he gets stressed he gets sick. I also told her that I will not support any lies she tells the kids. When they ask me, I WILL tell the truth.
Not much time for GAL stuff this week. Weather here is not too good this weekend. I did clean the heck out of the house. College football started!! That is so AWESOME!! I love watching football. NFL starts Thursday!! Kids are liking school and that is going good. D12 is really liking it and enjoys being with her friends. S7 is definately struggling with his mom stuff. He is bonding very well with me, but doesn't like being away from me for very long. He does good at school. But other times, he doesn't like me being gone.
I am still just trying to be the best dad I can be. And working on myself!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
S7 is worrying me a little, it's the attachment, you are wise to get IC involved, also telling S7 you will tell him the truth as far as you can is good. Your D12 seems very grounded too, that's helpful because her little brother will verify with her whether you like it or no.
If I were you though I would hold your cards very close to your chest with WW. Now she knows whatever she is doing is having an effect. She knows she lies, it's deliberate, very deliberate. So sunshine all the way, it will serve you best.
Glad to hear there is football GAL on the horizon.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I am not to sure what to post about. I feel like I should post something, but I feel like I am kinda in a weird faze. I am kinda just here. Taking care of my kids. Working. Doing some fun things. But I am kinda wondering if in some way I am mourning the loss of my marriage. It kinda feels like it. I am not really sad, but I have had some mixed emotions about certain things I miss. I also feel like I caused this. But than I go back and forth acknowledging my faults in my marriage, but also saying to myself that nothing justified her affair.
It was weird today because I was deleting some pictures that I had of STBXW and it did not stir up any emotions. To be honest, it felt good to delete them. Sometimes when I start getting down on myself too bad, something brings me back to thinking something positive. Like the fact that I won't have to deal with her lies about finances anymore. I am slowly recovering from the mess she left me with. I am making progress at least.
I talked to D12 last night and explained that I filed to change the legal separation to divorce. I explained why. She completely understood. She also told me she is tired of her mom lying to her ALL the time. She is getting sick of it.
S7 and I are making progress. He is really confused. I am working on different ways to deal with his fits and his attitude problems. IC is helping also.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I just like to know that you and the kids are ok. D12 sounds awesome, S7 is confused and you are handling this very well. Can you go and do some physical GAL with him. Karate or boxing with dad?
Just like RD, sometimes there is flurry and noise and it's important to those new and still on the journey to know there is peace. WW may emerge sometime for mayhem and confusion.
Big big hugs to you all
Last edited by Vanilla; 09/10/1511:34 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I had such a good night last night golfing!! I needed that!!
Lots going on this weekend. Homecoming here! Kids have alot going on. I am so happy to watch D12 getting so involved in school and with her friends.
I am looking forward to spending time with the kids this weekend and watching some FOOTBALL on Sunday!! But more important, I am excited to watch Oregon beat Michigan State Saturday night!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Something ironic happened last night. For some reason I was thinking if I could ever give WW another chance if she came back remorseful and wanting to fix things. I have not thought about this a whole lot. Maybe it was all the stuff going on and I was used to her being there. Anyway, I got a text from WW. She was telling me that she had to help her mom and dad and probably would not be able to talk to the kids before bed. The first thing that came to mind was why she didn't just text D12. Than I began to think about how sad this is for the kids. WW has lied so much that you never know if she is telling the truth or not. She also is good at trying to get sympathy. So she could have been texting me to try to get some sympathy for what was going on with her mom and dad.
So my question was answered. NO I could not give WW another chance. I would always wonder if she was lying or telling the truth. I have been lied to for so many years. I don't want to be in that type of relationship. I also would not want to be manipulated anymore by the lies so she can get her own way. Just establishing some relationship boundaries!!:)
Last edited by Joe46; 09/12/1503:24 PM.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
It doesn't matter much how long the lying, lack of empathy and selfishness lasts for. I sense the trust goes quickly, once the spell breaks the vision is clear.
You will never un know.
The red flags are clear and they will always fly.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
