I agree with Azz. Words are words and actions talk louder. Start shifting your focus NOW.
What I will never get my head around is why people continue to have talks, sleep in the same bed and go to counselling when they know full well the OP is still there.
What self respecting person accepts a txt from their S saying they are with OP and will be home shortly. WTF?
As a H I can tell you that while you tolerate it my respect for you is zero and while I see you are not going anywhere I have this feeling of having you under control, safe so why change?
We have been told that the A has to run its course until it fizzles out and in the meantime the S is in cuckoo land. So we lower our standards, respect, dignity hoping to succeed as plan B since plan A might fizzle out?
Isnt it better to stop all contacts and talks until the A is over and proven as much as it can and then work from there? If we are deliberately going to stick our heads in the sand, should we not do it to concentrate on ourselves rather than remember everytime the S gets into the master bed he has come from someone elses?
I really think that dropping the OP is the first and only option possible to start negotiations. Here is where the line needs to be drawn before the trench warfare begins.
Those of you old enough will remember when as kids we went one step too far we got an ass whooping. Now there are special places and time outs. WTF Is that. In my days a special place was a coma and we never had time outs just got knocked out.
May have been harsher but we did pretty well. So why not give your S an emotional ass whooping back to reality. If they want to talk then drop the b** faster than a bad habit. Otherwise GTFO and get your s**t together.
Another point, as a H, If I am having an A and your GAL, MO etc is spending more time with the kids, crockery class or walking the dog... keep it up, you may bore me back to reality. What works is cleavage, tight, short clothes and going out somewhere you can be a bad girl or boy. They need to feel their Plan B is under threat.
I am not saying just do this but think about it... when we see our Ss dress up smelling and looking good and not going to a readers digest meeting how do we feel? As we say here... a thief thinks everyone steals.
I know it probably sounds controversial but I have seen mates wake up from their limbo the moment they saw someone elses's bed may be kept warm with their S while they were acting the player. Its a macho thing that shakes us to the core.
