I really hope I can offer help that will fix this. One day he is going to realize what he did to contribute to the breakdown of his marriage and be very sad. I would imagine the first step will be him recognizing he has a problem. The approach to make this happen is going to be very delicate I would imagine.
You are doing great! Thank you for not giving up!
Thank you!
Do you have any specific ideas? I guess I need some respectful, warm, friendly phrases that will call him on his BS...
He's going to withdraw and give me the silent treatment, or he isn't - that is totally up to him, so avoiding that isn't my aim.
My aim is to even out the power balance in our relationship by stepping up and acting like an adult.
The next time he moans and wants to have a discussion (i.e he scolds me) for hanging the tea-towels a different way from the one he likes:
'Adults don't tell other adults how to hang towels.'
'I can see we have different preferences on this.'
Would these be okay things to say? I am totally stumped. It seems like such a minor thing to think about - given the state of our marriage - but to be honest, some days the only time he speaks to me is to complain about the way I've done or not done some domestic chore. The rules changes a lot, and he's unilateral about them, so it's really really impossible to avoid triggering this kind of behaviour just by behaving myself.
