MLC W Dates, Part X

[Rita]

Dear Wet -- I haven't posted here in a long long while. I wanted you to know that I am still praying for you and your wife.

I read through this thread and I was very happy to see that your wife is looking for ways to be part of your life. And not only going to Bible study, but wanting you to know about it. That is AMAZING. Even if she still has a long way to go. I know that most folks are big on boundaries, and that boudaries are very important for our own survival, but I would also suggest reading Charlyne Cares on this topic -- because the reason that pulls your spouse back to you does not have to be the one you envision. It might be something that doesn't SEEM like a choice on her part. But she has so many choices, and she is choosing to ask you to live with her again! It could be that you can thank God for making her feel that she is so broke that she HAS to live with you, even if she thinks she doesn't really want to. That doesn't mean she is ready to be a real wife. But it means that you have the opportunity to continue to be her husband no matter what she does.

In my own life, I try to focus on what I have read in Charlyne Cares about the spouse's return. She says it won't happen as you envision, and that you have to zip your lips and it could take a couple of years (after the return, not after bomb drop! I know that looooooong, much longer!) before you start to have a real marriage again. My husband is an in-house prodigal, and believe me, it's a hell to live with someone who is going through MLC in front of you. But even when I am at my lowest, I try to remember to thank God that we are still a family, we are still under one roof. Your focus on your son is a beautiful thing, and you are right that he would rather have one household. I believe your wife might be awful to you for a while to come, or flip flop between awful and nice. But I believe you can zip your lips when you have to, pray all the time, and you will get through it and come out the other side.

And know that I'll still be praying for you, and will always have firm faith that if you are led by God in your own actions, this dark will be turned to the Good.

Love,
Gerda