I am already thankful for this new lifeline. I have a feeling it will be the only thread holding me to some sanity in the long days/weeks/months to come.
As usual, I dared to hope too soon regarding my husband's text. It's been well over an hour since he declared he was "wrapping up soon" with his friend. I am back to guessing that the next text I get will be him solemnly and flatly telling me that he is meeting with the OW after all. I don't know that, of course, but I know the pattern.
And that will be despite the fact that he knows I was making homemade pizza tonight, and despite the fact that it is the anniversary of 9/11 which is a very emotional day for me (he worked in the WTC and was lucky enough to have been on a different floor that day, although for half the day I thought he was gone). He will be flatly apologetic, but resolute in his decision nonetheless.
And once again, I won't know what my response should be - even by text. With my son here at home, I can't even fake a night of going out on the town. After feeling rather upbeat for most of today, I once again feel the walls closing in. Evenings are the worst time for me.
