What you're supposed to be doing is nothing just yet. Anything you do now would be completely reactive to the emotions you're feeling. I understand why it doesn't feel good, but trying to enforce boundaries when you are this wounded will result in pressure, control, ultimatums, and revenge.
There is no easy button. It is a long process. Not all M's are saved. Some take years. Even if he is willing to truly recommit to the M at some point it takes many months if not years to gradually let go of the pain, and to rebuild into something that feels safe and fulfilling. The reality is that you have a long road ahead.
Many people do something hoping it will change how they feel. It really won't. Wherever you go, there you are. People that burn bridges for 'closure', medicate somehow, or just flip flop all over trying to shake things up...they just end up feeling and acting crazy. This rarely helps.
So for now I'd recommend holding your horses. This is a long road. There is no reason to do anything today, and many reasons not to. Maybe commit to a 30-90 day period of not making any decisions, and say you will reevaluate at that point. During that time you can pray, meditate, post, read, and grieve. Just knowing you don't need to figure it all out (and can't) can be a relief, and sometimes not doing anything destructive is a big win.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
