Yes. I can totally do that. In fact, I am going to put a reminder on my phone right now of things to check before bed. It gets on my nerves when he nags me about it - but if the phone is nagging me I can be pissed off at the phone and not him!!
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be warm, kind and cheerful - what are you going to do exactly - smile? greetings? eye contact? try to be as specific as you can. show appreciation verbally - add a measurable. Once a day as a target? no pursuing for physical affection or time spent together - good. Can you try to be a little more clear on this about how? I found for a while that I was pursuing without really knowing or being aware. What things will you not say? cheerful and accepting if he initiates affection or time spent together - OK.
Okay. This makes sense to me. So - more specific goals.
I will say good morning, ask him if he slept well. I will greet him when coming into the house and say goodbye when I am leaving. I will ask him if there's things he needs when I go out. I'll smile and make eye contact while these things happen.
I will appreciate something he does for me and our family two times per day (very easy thing for me to do - because he does a lot. I do generally thank him for cooking, etc, but I could do it more lavishly. Instead of 'thanks for tea,' I can say, 'I really appreciate you cooking for us all especially after you've been on your feet painting the house all day.' That kind of thing.
Not pursuing. Well - I was in the habit of saying, 'what are your plans for today?' or 'what do you want to do tonight?' which he knew full well was a coded way of me saying, 'please spend time with me. Please tell me you want to do something with me tonight.' So I have stopped doing that entirely. I will not initiate conversations with him if he's wearing his headphones or playing his computer games. I will not interrupt him when he's playing his guitar. I won't ask him to do things for me that I can really easily to myself (like petrol in the car. I don't need him to put petrol in my car - I just wanted him to do something nice to take care of me.)
