First Post, She just Left, Very unsure

[Shrike]

Trying very hard not to reach out to her right now. Try to rationalize whats happening. Try to make sense of what shes feeling. Try to clarify what she wants. I dont think it will help. I want to talk to her so bad. I dont know if going dim? Is the right thing to do. Somewhere deep down I feel like I should be fighting for her. Show her what I want. That I am confident.

Anyways History the Kind of Short version:

Got married very young, 17 her and 18 me. I joined the AF and she went with me to Japan. Two kids in a foreign country with no family was a recipe for disaster. But we were in love right?
Had a beautiful daughter. I fell out of love with her. Had a EA. She distanced herself. Became unhappy. I fell back in love, but I still didn't know what that truely meant, both to me and to her. I didn't listen to her needs. I didn't respect her. I took her love and destroyed it.

This circle of destruction continues when we move to Hawaii on my next assignment. I dont like that she is in this pity party. She wont leave the house. I finally tell all this to her and she resents me for it. But soon she is working out, gets a job, goes back to school! Only this doesnt help us comes closer. She sees it as her being independent, which is fine. I get very sick. A lot of hospital time. I become scared that I am going to lose her. But instead of reaching out for help, I lash out in fear. She is further away than ever before. Starts going out with coworkers and gym friends rather than helping me. I feel abandoned, but I cant blame her. She has texts from other guys and facebook messages and snap chats that I feel are inappropriate. Guys asking her out, she not saying no. Lots of flirting. Exchanges of photos in underwear that sort of thing. I fear the worst and confront her. She denies everything and apologizes. We move closer towards each other emotionally. Still wary of it all.

About a year ago, due to the sickness I am separated from the military. We move back home. Very stressful. Have to find a job, new house, childcare, cars all the craziness. I hate the new job, become angry and depressed again. Fall into the same pattern that she hates. She tries to reach out and say its affecting her. But I still don't listen.

A month ago. She withdraws, I think everything is OK. We seem to be getting along. We don't really have an argument I just walk away from a conversation we are having and she flips. Saying I never listen. I apologize. She goes out that night and spends 4 hours with a friend that has been divorced. The next day she says shes leaving. Says it all came into perspective when her friend said she finally felt free after leaving her husband.

Classic WAW situation in my opinion. The more I read the more I see what I did. No one I talk to has ever heard of any of this.