My WW loves her OOM

[Azzork]

My 180 was shutting off my xbox and phone games and trying to focus on her and the kids.

OK...thats one. But thats not enough!
What else are you doing. What else did she complain about? What else do you think isnt good?

CaliGuy talks about making 3 lists.
1) Things your W complains about
2) Things you dont like about yourself
3) Things you admire in other guys

I'd make these lists, and then you try to replace the qualities in you that reside in lists 1 + 2 with those from list 3.

Also, the 180 cant be to pend more time with HER. She doesnt want that. But spend time with your kids!

And any time I bring up anythong like that (turning off her phone since she is using it for OM, D or custody of kids after) she gets very angry and starts yelling "well do it, file, I'm ready"(D) or "ill just go get a phone on my mothers plan, she already offered"(phone) or "I wont do split custody, Im moving out if the state" (kids)

Nope. Dont bring it up. Dont try to force your changes on her. Dont try to get HER to change. Just change, and let her do her.

And no as it stands my GAL is 0. I sit at home do cjores and try to watch Game of Thrones until O cant take it anymorr and go bug her

So how are you going to fix that? Whats the difference between watching TV and playing video games?

And my only goal since BD has been to try and save my M. I know it is out of ny hands now, but it is so hard to leave it be.

Thats fine to be your overall goal. As MWD writes, thats the hole. But thats 30 feet away. Lets start by aiming 2 feet away. What "mini-goals" are you going to set for yourself that will get you closer to that goal? Use the exercise I wrote about ^^^ to get those planned.