We can't make people have compassion. It makes no difference to her how she makes you feel or anyone else, for that matter. I would not send her an email. Go have fun. When the kids and relatives ask, don't cover for her. Tell them she apparently had something else she wanted to do. I know the spot you are in, b/c there was a time that my H would not go to any of my family reunions.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
