Had another IC session today, sat down and for some reason it all came out, not in anger but in realization. My W is in a very strange place right now mentally, with the things she says, and acts. Realizing that yes the best thing to do is stay out of her way.
When I got back to work, guess who calls, yep W. double checking if what I meant was that I would be passing by in the morning tomorrow or if I was coming over in the evening. I responded that I was picking up the kids from school. I am seriously taking some distance from her at the moment as I feel is the best way to get my sanity. Right now, we have very little contact unless she initiates or I call the house to speak to the boys at which point I end up speaking to her because my oldest doesn't like to talk much.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
So my W has just text me to inform me she was nominated for another award. The event is part of the same council to which one of the "friends" she has attends, so I know he will be there. I am beginning to think that besides wanting to share that with me, she wanted to plant a seed about the fact that she will be there with him. I am of course mind reading...(Just need to get this out)
I responded with "Oh! that's awesome. Congrats! you have definitely worked hard. Good for you"; so bad did I want to say "So at least you have a date for that night" and also confront her on the joke about my sanity and single white female. But I took a STFU smoothie and just left it at that.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
EMMess, I know its hard VERY hard, I too found out my W is talking to OMs / OM , really hard to digest. Pictures and everything.
And none of it was shared with me us, like a double life shes been living.
Hang in there brother, lets keep praying, our kids deserve their parents together the family together. go to ksgn 89.7 and request a prayer, people from around the country will pray for your sitch.
Lets hope it is in GODS will to reunite with our WAS
ILYNOT - Thank you so much brother. You have been God sent, you have as well as many others have been very instrumental for me to have even reach the level of understanding and stability that I currently have. God bless you.
I have been doing well these past few days with my distance, I find myself in a better place mentally and emotionally. Of course everyday I have to wake up and continue my PMA and reminding myself to accept that my marriage is over, accept that my W is on a journey in which I am not a part of, and of course fight the thoughts of her talking to OMs. I am beginning to not reject or fight the thoughts, just accept them and accept my emotions in relation to them, and this has been helpful.
The last two days I have woken up missing my W, thinking of what she is doing or whether she even thinks or misses me. I journaled to get those thoughts out of my head and hopefully move on with the thought that it is ok to miss her, she was an integral part of my life for 10 years, and it is normal to feel this way.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
So W calls me to let me know that she locked the MBR and that she has the key, but won't be coming home as she is going out to dinner and a movie. I was caught of guard, and said "Oh, a date" to which she responds with "I will let you live in your head"; I quickly responded with "Ok, well have a great time" and her response was "I plan to".
I really need to work on not asking these types of questions and showing an upbeat happy EM...
Well, means I still have detaching to do, and have to continue to GAL. I will start visualizing different scenarios to which I can respond with a calm and cool demeanor.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
I know ILYNOT, I saw your thread. I am truly sorry for that man. We have been working so hard to become better versions of ourselves only to continue to go through these pains. Well, you are at least becoming a better person as you go through this process.
Remember, embrace and give thanks to our Lord for the difficult and trying times, be grateful for them as they are shaping you to be a better version of yourself. You have to go through it and not around it.
God Bless.
I have to be honest, part of me is getting tired of the games that she is playing. It is as if she has no regards for my feelings. I honestly don't understand that, I am the father of your children and I will have interactions with you for the rest of our lives, together or not. So why would you want to deliberately hurt and take the risk of making me bitter? But I am not going down that road, I prefer to detach and love her from a distance. If I decide to move on, it will be when I am completely done with all it.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
