running around like a chicken without a head

[Azzork]

Did you see the goals I posted ^^^? Did you do them today? If no, can you tomorrow? If you did them, then add one new additional thing tomorrow - maybe to say good morning to 3 people. Or thank you 2 times or something.

[overcom]

I did see your goals. Today I did this:
1. Shower, make up dressed up and went to work
2. Shined at work... I always need to leave a good impression on boss as I'm still new.
3. I did homework with and bathed my son without getting mad.
4. I mopped the floors
5. Bathed my daughter
6. Put Them To bed. Hugged kissed and said I love you.
7. Came outside and prayed
Now I'm just sitting here trying to not cry my eyes out... as he was leaving my daughter started crying baba don't leave... :'(

[gonegrl]

Overcome, I am praying for you right now. You are doing well. One day at a time, you are doing well at work and well with your children. Keep it up, the rest will get easier with time and detachment.

I like that your goals are achievable and specific, keep them short and sweet and doable- you are doing a great job. And you are not alone, keep posting. I am hoping for you a good day today.

[overcom]

Hi there. Thank you for your encouraging words. Today has already been a hard one.
I hope you have a great day too.. hugs

[Azzork]

I did see your goals. Today I did this:
1. Shower, make up dressed up and went to work
2. Shined at work... I always need to leave a good impression on boss as I'm still new.
3. I did homework with and bathed my son without getting mad.
4. I mopped the floors
5. Bathed my daughter
6. Put Them To bed. Hugged kissed and said I love you.
7. Came outside and prayed

Good work! Look at all of the productive things that you can do while in as much pain as you are! Why dont you try to set out a few goals to get accomplished by the end of Friday. Maybe three things that you want to do or not do or improve or maintain. Three things that you can focus on really applying in the next 3 days.

[overcom]

Thank you... I'm thinking about the next three days.. I'll get back to you...

[overcom]

My goal is to detach detach detach....

[overcom]

I'm having a really hard time. I want to tell him please come home. I want to tell him I miss him so much and can't do this without him. I can't deal that every night he's going to her house and sleeping and cuddling with her. It's not fair. He's totally head over heels for her and I'm so scared that I really have lost him...

[Sotto]

Hi Overcom, look at your goal - detach, detach, detach....then look at your subsequent post.

Here's the thing. You don't get to control him. He is choosing to go to her house every night. He's infatuated with her just now....there is not much you can do about that.

But you can do lots about you. And you being all desparate and scared is the least likely thing to save your R.

Now, what is, is just now. Let's talk about how you can move towards your goal of detaching, and how you can reclaim former Overcom, who was happier in herself and can be so regardless of what H is doing.

Have you read codependent no more? Your last post made me wonder if this would be helpful?

(((Overcom)))

[overcom]

The hardest part of the attaching right now is because he still living or not living but still coming home all day long and the fight is not being around him is that the kids want to play outside while he's working on the truck and I need to be outside to watch them so like I'm with him literally like four to five hours. yes I do go inside and I do my own things but every now and then I gotta come back out to make sure the kids are okay I can't completely just disappear.