[BrightFuture]

Heather, you are so right about all of this:

I can't imagine going and spending time there, meeting his friends and seeing him in that environment. That would be a vacation in hell for me.

You can't continue to subject yourself to his insanity and, especially, his crazy woman friend. Sounds like she is influencing him the way OW women do. She is a predator and her following you to the bathroom and such indicates a really sick person.

you could find yourself another vacation home where you could actually relax and detox from all of this. He seems to be heading deeper into the tunnel for now.

It was not a vacation that I planned, that’s for sure. I still love that place and I’m usually fine and enjoying myself when H is not there. I guess I will start looking for another option for the vacation place (even though it is not that easy for a single woman and in Mexico), especially if my mutual friends are gone.

Job, thanks for the great advice. Like I said, I will start considering other places to go or stay. I’m feeling a lot better, since I’m back to my house. This crazy woman doesn’t even bother me now. You might be actually right on the money here about their strange friendship. I got the same impression this time too.
I think the talk about the D was inspired by my mutual friend telling him to keep that woman away from me and not let her come to the condo until he gets full ownership of it. I think H’s response was inspired by anger, like “how dare you tell me that my friends are bad people”.

I like your comment about him hoping that I would file, but you would not do that, if you were me. I have the same opinion. I will let him do the work. Filing on our anniversary date will only make him a bigger @ss.

Your words about the love they have for us and the fear of abandonment… Interesting… I was just thinking about this. And coincidentally, my GF also gave me her opinion that maybe H became so insecure and afraid that I would abandon him that he decided to do it first. This is not the first (or second) time I hear this opinion.


uR, thanks so much for stopping by. Everything you said makes so much sense.

The truth is that hurting people hurt people.

This is so true.

Bright, I really think that you need to do something different. I think the place to start is the vacation home. I know that part of why you hold onto it is to have some connection to him, but that keeps you stuck.

I just think that having any kind of contact with him hurts you right now.

All that stuff that happens at the vacation home doesn't serve you well. Find a new place. A place that is just yours. Make new memories.

Yes. Yes. And Yes! I see that now. I’m pretty stubborn and I have a hard time giving up. But… I think I need to do it.

You are not a loser by any means. You love deeply and truly. Nothing wrong with that, B. Makes you very special.


But it's time to love him enough to let him go and more importantly, to love yourself enough, too.

Thank you. I feel that I can do that, love him enough to let him go completely. I’m just afraid that I will slide back into desperation, like I did so many time before. Reading your posts (and everybody else’s) helps me to stay focused.

Life Twists, thanks for reminding me about relatives’ and friends’ opinions. Funny, that H used to use the same expression about the definition of insanity. The distance between me and H is huge right now. I don’t know how I can make it even bigger. You are right about the vacation home though.

Dejavu2, thanks for the kind words and for your support.

Haunted, I hear you. I’m still waiting for the moment when I can turn my feeling off this easy…

Bright - you have been unbelievably strong for quite a while now. I admire how you've been so gracious to your H.

Gwen, thank you for this. I need to hear it once in a while, to truly believe that I can make it and be ok. And the 180… Yes, it would be 180 for me, not H. Thanks for your post, it is very inspiring!

Again, thanks everyone for stopping by and giving me your support. It means a lot to me!