Not Confused Anymore 2!!!

[Joe46]

I am not to sure what to post about. I feel like I should post something, but I feel like I am kinda in a weird faze. I am kinda just here. Taking care of my kids. Working. Doing some fun things. But I am kinda wondering if in some way I am mourning the loss of my marriage. It kinda feels like it. I am not really sad, but I have had some mixed emotions about certain things I miss. I also feel like I caused this. But than I go back and forth acknowledging my faults in my marriage, but also saying to myself that nothing justified her affair.

It was weird today because I was deleting some pictures that I had of STBXW and it did not stir up any emotions. To be honest, it felt good to delete them. Sometimes when I start getting down on myself too bad, something brings me back to thinking something positive. Like the fact that I won't have to deal with her lies about finances anymore. I am slowly recovering from the mess she left me with. I am making progress at least.

I talked to D12 last night and explained that I filed to change the legal separation to divorce. I explained why. She completely understood. She also told me she is tired of her mom lying to her ALL the time. She is getting sick of it.

S7 and I are making progress. He is really confused. I am working on different ways to deal with his fits and his attitude problems. IC is helping also.